So you’re chewing gum.
It’s nearly time for bed, and you’ve been chewing for hours
and hours, and you’d like to get rid of it.
But you need something to wrap it in.
The nearest bit of waste paper (yesterday’s unread newspaper
– you’re sure it won’t mind) is on the desk. Too far away.
What’s closest to you is that cheque for Rs 20,000 that the
CEO of your company gave you the other day.
If you tore a teeny, weeny bit off the side, would somebody
at the bank complain?
Probably not, but even if they did, you could claim the rat
ate it. Yes, there’s a major rat problem at home.
Besides, you could get another one. It’s just a piece of
paper. After tearing out the bit to wrap the chewing gum up, you could crumple
the rest of it for good measure.
Done. Torn. Wrapped. Tossed. Wait, not tossed.
The dustbin’s too far away. It’s even further than the desk.
This is ridiculous. As an experienced rubbish tosser, you calculate that the
chances of you making the basket are less than even.
So, you just decide to keep the Rs 20,000
cheque-wrapped-gum-wad under your pillow.
What if it unwraps itself? Cheque paper is notoriously crumple-resistent.
That won’t be good if it happens. Black and sticky things
aren’t good.
You could then flip the pillow case inside out.
Oh wait, mum would notice the rather unsightly (black and
sticky) stain on the inside, that should actually be on the outside.
You could crumple the pillow cause up, with the Rs 20,000
cheque-wrapped-gum-wad still inside, and chuck it into the attic. (There’s a
90% chance of making it, especially if you weight it. What’s around? What’s
around? Ah, that textbook you haven’t read in like forever should do just
fine.)
Now there’s a missing pillow case.
The dog peed on it, surely?
But why’d the dog pee on it? Didn’t you take her out on
time?
There was this one time you got home late, and the dog was
looking all sad eyed. You sympathized. Only later when you saw the dripping
pillow case, you realized why.
But why chuck it into the attic?
It smelt so bad you had to get rid of it quickly.
What if you are asked to get it back?
Remember that rat? It’s excreted liberally on the side of
the attic that the chucked pillow case (with the Rs 20,000 cheque-wrapped-gum-wad)
ended up on.
What a pity.
That entire chain of thought probably took less than a second to run through. Isn’t laziness just the most delightful brain stimulator? All you movers, shakers, workeraholics, you're missing out, man.
