Thursday 5 March 2009

Doomsday?

This one's the first story I wrote for Musings 09.

People of the world,

Like most discoveries, this one was accidental. And just like all those other discoveries, its significance wasn’t immediately grasped. Instead, people doubted, and people shouted. Questions were raised about nearly everything from its religious implications to the discoverer’s mental health. And when finally realization sank in, they abused it. Of course, as with all stories like this one, the ending can’t ever be good. Usually when a measure of self control finally pierces thick bureaucratic (and overzealous scientific) skulls, the process is already beyond their control. Is this mechanism a built in self-destruct switch for human beings? You can go back a few thousand years if you like and the evidence only adds up. Some lucky nomad in the Stone Age figures out a way to make tools, and voila, before long, people are using crude spears to kill each other.

Before you pass me off as just another depressed misanthrope, let me supply some perspective. The year is 2050. It’s been twenty years since the second Information Revolution. It’s been thirty since the Earth was diagnosed with a massive fever. And it’s been five years since a young man in his twenties realized that he could control the weather. This man, let’s call him X in deference to creative nomenclature principles, had been working on a rather mundane project involving the learning curves of Althean neural networks when the miracle happened. Neural networks had been, of course, the spark that started the fire called the Information Revolution, and Althean neural networks had transformed it into a raging inferno. With Althean neural networks, the principles of parallel computing found their way into every ten year old’s PDA. The average Joe could now wirelessly access Internet from any point in the world, generate weather reports on his cell phone and speak to anyone, anywhere in the world at just the touch of a button. Globalization was complete; ironically, poor old Gaia was all but forgotten.

As the tentacles of global warming slowly tightened their hold, a new field of research called ‘meteorological physics’ (only to pretentious newspaper reporters though; to the ‘in’ people it’s always been MetPhy) gained prominence. With the massive computing power available, scientists expected that it would only be a matter of time before Weather too joined Man’s stable. Weather would become another tool for us to use as we saw fit. Not to be. Like Artificial Intelligence research in the last century, the harder you ran, the further the finish line seemed to recede. Chaos theorists were quick to say, “I told you so!” The system is inherently chaotic, they argued; no matter how many variables you push in, you cannot predict all the factors. MetPhy faded from the scientific mainstream.

X, like every other human being of his age, wanted to become a Neural-Net engineer. The problem was that he didn’t have the credentials to back him up. In college, the one place where he could have picked some up, he smoked pot and went on acid trips instead of field trips. The interviewer had been sympathetic, the story went. He’d offered him a post as a MetPhy researcher. X accepted, and immediately started to apply his training to the problem of weather simulation. He tried to teach the Althean nodes to try and use atmospheric molecules to power themselves. If Althean node A ingests CO2 and belches out O2, Althean node B might take in NO2 and expel nitrogen. To his immense surprise he found that a neural network system comprising such nodes stabilized automatically. No matter how much NO2 or CO2 he pumped in, the system always settled down to fixed proportions of gases. The number of Althean nodes in the system, he ingeniously concluded, was the sole factor which affected the proportions. And no, he didn’t quite become an instant celebrity. Besides the fact that MetPhy researchers in that day and age were generally put in the same intellectual domain as Flat Earth theorists and raving lunatics, X was just not important enough to be heard in the noisy world of academia. Here’s where he did the second ingenious thing: he bypassed the scientific channels and approached the government. Now, on the face of it this looked like a bad move, bureaucrats being bureaucrats and all. But X knew his electoral politics and was fully aware that global warming was a burning issue. He cast the bait, and the government bit. A massive project (WeBot or Weather Robot) to build an immense atmosphere wide neural network sprung up almost overnight.

A few scientists and a lot many ethicists fretted over the lack of experimental trials. They were varyingly disparaged as naysayers, lunatics and traitors, and ignored. Research into the project’s scientific feasibility progressed in step with the actual construction of the nodes. Soon, scientists had worked out the precise mathematical formulae to control the extents of all known gases in the earth’s atmosphere, along with several others to control cloud seeding and temperature. A few rudimentary controls were installed to satisfy the worriers. The nodes could not reproduce; and they could not move out of the lower atmosphere. It had taken a mere five years.

In what was probably the most widely watched event in the history of humanity, billions of people watched space shuttles carry their tiny payloads to the desired targets. In fact, an interesting anecdote suggests that this might have been the only five minutes in history when a human didn’t fight another. The nodes deployed successfully, and as was decided in 33rd Intergovernmental WeBot meeting, the first thing they did was rain on a select location in Africa. As the first drops of sweet, cold water hit the parched Libyan Desert, the world rejoiced. Had we finally found a cure for Gaia? In a frenzied couple of months, the WeBot heated the Arctic, dried up London and oxygenated Chicago.

The first sign that things weren’t quite going according to plan was the unexpected heatwave in France. The temperatures rose sharply, and within a few days became so oppressive that people began to suffer fatal heat strokes just by standing in the sun. Then, a physicist in India noticed that the UV radiation received by the Earth was, inexplicably, increasing steadily. Almost at the same time, a WeBot station in Australia reported a structural failure; its nodes just weren’t responding to its controlling signals. It soon became apparent that the WeBot was going out of control. Bureaucracy reared its ugly head again. The government didn’t want to abandon a project that it’d spent countless money on. Instead, the politicians argued, debated, squabbled and generally did nothing.

Today, there are signs that the neural network may be developing a collective intelligence. Only yesterday three major military installations were damaged due to freak hailstorms. Another Intergovernmental Panel has been formed, this time to undo the actions of the first one. People believe that a nuclear strike is imminent. I have no idea how we can survive the radiation effects of such a massive nuclear explosion, even if it’s high in the atmosphere. Others say that a major planetary exodus is in the offing. Has Doomsday arrived? Let us hope for the best.

Professor X,
29 January, 2050
India

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