I'm sure most of you have had the exquisite pleasure of being accused of being immature at some point in your lives. I'm also sure that you've been left utterly baffled by the gallons of vitriol tucked away within that one innocuous little word. ('What?' you may have mentally ejaculated, puffing with indignation.)
My goal here, readers, is to convince you that your bafflement at being accused of immaturity isn't an unwarranted knee-jerk reaction to an unexpected affront. And I'm going to attempt to do that by arguing semantics - what is commonly known as the first refuge of the intellectually towering.
On the face of it, the word isn't complicated, meaning wise. Unlike the likes of that abhorrent word 'set' with its ~100 contextual meanings, Wiktionary has only one concise definition to offer for this word.
"Childish in behavior, not mature."
The rub, as that sixteenth century bard would have it, lies in the definition of the word childish. At least that's one of the rubs - maybe the first, but not the last, and I'll have to park this idiom in case it's getting a little too dirty. Anyway, here's an example to start you off.
Fair? Simple? Where's all that semantic complexity you oversold, you ask. Hold your horses. Here's another definition of immaturity. (You'll have to take my word for this, but every definition that I'm going to come up with here has been paraphrased from real, true examples from the bottomless fount of human excellence that are Facebook comments. I don't lie by the way.)
Again, it might strike you that this definition is not really at odds with the first definition. DON'T BE FOOLED! It really, really is. When someone is talking about expressing their emotions fully, they really are asking for the hallowed right to tantrums. So what does immaturity really mean then?
How about -
I see you raise video games, and I offer you:
Because the real world is complex and wonderful, and no mature members of homo sapiens would have the time for childish fantasies. Right?
The contrarian in the corner pipes up -
Because you see, hobbies are for children and ergo, childish. Adults sex around, and end up producing babies, and are in most cases forced into tending to their output, leaving them no time for childish dallying. (This definition nicely dovetails into the biological definition of maturity, so that's a plus!) The implication of this of course is that all those bibliophiles who accuse gamers of immaturity, and all those gamers who accuse television show watchers of immaturity, and pretty much everyone who accuses anyone else of being immature based on their preferred choice of leisure activity, is really immature.
That's that right? We finally have hit upon the perfect definition of immaturity right? You naive fool, you. Because -
Human beings - and their personalities, quirks and temperaments - aren't really classifiable into easy buckets. All human ideology is fundamentally on a spectrum, so if you call superstitious people immature - because only pigeons, infants and fish are superstitious - YOU'RE immature, because you know, human ideology lies on a spectrum. If you call people who're deliberately vapid immature, because they, as you see things, refuse to use their adult-sized brain for anything useful, YOU'RE immature, because you know, human ideology lies on a spectrum.
Therefore, readers, exult. Exult, because when somebody is accusing you of being immature, THEY'RE being immature. Ha.
If blog posts had glossaries, this post has one, made up of a not-comprehensive list of definitions of immaturity that you can use for any situation in life! Forge on, O intrepid insulter.
"You let money rot in the bank. You're immature, man!"
"Oh, you'll only date fit women? That's immature."
"Denying that humans have sexual preferences is immature."
"Arguing over politics is immaturity."
"Only kids and the mentally deficient don't care about politics."
"You still watch sitcoms after work. Grow up!"
"Not acknowledging the human need for unwinding is really immature. You aren't in class X anymore!"
"You think being an atheist is cool? It's just immature."
"If believing in a wish-granting sin-forgiving sky-fairy isn't immaturity, I don't know what is."
"Justin Bieber? Really? So immature."
"Signalling superiority by listening only to elitist classical music from two hundred years ago is immaturity itself."
"Arguing the semantics of immaturity is soooo immature."
"Ignoring the philosophical implications of ontology is dull-headed, but I'll tone that to just calling you immature."
My goal here, readers, is to convince you that your bafflement at being accused of immaturity isn't an unwarranted knee-jerk reaction to an unexpected affront. And I'm going to attempt to do that by arguing semantics - what is commonly known as the first refuge of the intellectually towering.
On the face of it, the word isn't complicated, meaning wise. Unlike the likes of that abhorrent word 'set' with its ~100 contextual meanings, Wiktionary has only one concise definition to offer for this word.
"Childish in behavior, not mature."
The rub, as that sixteenth century bard would have it, lies in the definition of the word childish. At least that's one of the rubs - maybe the first, but not the last, and I'll have to park this idiom in case it's getting a little too dirty. Anyway, here's an example to start you off.
Definition #1
"Someone who's liable to throwing tantrums is immature."Fair? Simple? Where's all that semantic complexity you oversold, you ask. Hold your horses. Here's another definition of immaturity. (You'll have to take my word for this, but every definition that I'm going to come up with here has been paraphrased from real, true examples from the bottomless fount of human excellence that are Facebook comments. I don't lie by the way.)
Definition #2: Because I'm Definition #1 And I Cannot Possibly Be Immature?!
"Someone who doesn't express their emotions fully is immature."Again, it might strike you that this definition is not really at odds with the first definition. DON'T BE FOOLED! It really, really is. When someone is talking about expressing their emotions fully, they really are asking for the hallowed right to tantrums. So what does immaturity really mean then?
How about -
Definition #3
"Someone who still plays video games at the age of thirty."I see you raise video games, and I offer you:
Definition #4: You Come For My Video Games, I Come For Your Goddamn Books!
"Books. Someone who still reads books that aren't verbatim histories are immature."Because the real world is complex and wonderful, and no mature members of homo sapiens would have the time for childish fantasies. Right?
The contrarian in the corner pipes up -
Definition #5: No Dog In This Race, But I Just Want You To Lose
"Someone who has hobbies in middle age is really immature."Because you see, hobbies are for children and ergo, childish. Adults sex around, and end up producing babies, and are in most cases forced into tending to their output, leaving them no time for childish dallying. (This definition nicely dovetails into the biological definition of maturity, so that's a plus!) The implication of this of course is that all those bibliophiles who accuse gamers of immaturity, and all those gamers who accuse television show watchers of immaturity, and pretty much everyone who accuses anyone else of being immature based on their preferred choice of leisure activity, is really immature.
That's that right? We finally have hit upon the perfect definition of immaturity right? You naive fool, you. Because -
Definition #6: The Last Definition Still Loses
"People who hold strong opinions about things - like hobbies in middle age - are immature."Human beings - and their personalities, quirks and temperaments - aren't really classifiable into easy buckets. All human ideology is fundamentally on a spectrum, so if you call superstitious people immature - because only pigeons, infants and fish are superstitious - YOU'RE immature, because you know, human ideology lies on a spectrum. If you call people who're deliberately vapid immature, because they, as you see things, refuse to use their adult-sized brain for anything useful, YOU'RE immature, because you know, human ideology lies on a spectrum.
Definition #7: Because Definition #6 Is A Cocky So-And-So
The maturity of the aforementioned middle-ground is also immaturity because it's a sign of intellectual laziness. Because what kind of mature person chooses a fallacious middle ground over a reasoned out stance?Definition #8: Recursion. The End
Perhaps, the inevitable smart Alec will respond, the true immaturity is arguing the semantics of immaturity itself. He smirks away, but I concede defeat because he's right. The meaning of the word immature has expanded to include any behaviour that's repulsive to the accuser, and since every behaviour is repulsive to some accuser (famously chronicled as LoneRanger's third law of meat and poison), every behaviour is immature.Therefore, readers, exult. Exult, because when somebody is accusing you of being immature, THEY'RE being immature. Ha.
If blog posts had glossaries, this post has one, made up of a not-comprehensive list of definitions of immaturity that you can use for any situation in life! Forge on, O intrepid insulter.
How To Argue With People On The Internet When You Are Called Immature: A Hands-On Guide
"Only immature people play around with money!""You let money rot in the bank. You're immature, man!"
"Oh, you'll only date fit women? That's immature."
"Denying that humans have sexual preferences is immature."
"Arguing over politics is immaturity."
"Only kids and the mentally deficient don't care about politics."
"You still watch sitcoms after work. Grow up!"
"Not acknowledging the human need for unwinding is really immature. You aren't in class X anymore!"
"You think being an atheist is cool? It's just immature."
"If believing in a wish-granting sin-forgiving sky-fairy isn't immaturity, I don't know what is."
"Justin Bieber? Really? So immature."
"Signalling superiority by listening only to elitist classical music from two hundred years ago is immaturity itself."
"Arguing the semantics of immaturity is soooo immature."
"Ignoring the philosophical implications of ontology is dull-headed, but I'll tone that to just calling you immature."
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