Did you know that the biggest predictor for which way those watershed moments in life go is not -
whether you think about it deeply before making your decision,
or if your parents were involved,
or if you’re a liberal or a conservative,
or if you pray several times a day
or if you like burgers,
or even dumb, blind luck
- but this?
Yes, this is a humble table fan, and there's no subtext here. There is however a familiar anecdote. You’ve spent much of your day working up the courage to ask this amazing, perfect person out. The two of you are to meet for homework, but there’s a power cut. It gets super hot. It gets so hot that you can feel your own irritation swell like a tidal wave, and when this person runs a couple of minutes late, it bursts forth and swamps your senses in a red mist.
Instead of the romantic proposal, you end up making a sarcastic jibe about watches being in short supply around the city, and end up dying lonely and hopeless, never meeting another such perfect person again. Dramatic? No, sir! Well, maybe if you are a sort of Antarctic ice block that finds the act of a promising life ending up as a wet, smelly sock mundane. Did you know that rates of divorce shoot up twenty percent in the summertime, and forty percent if there are power cuts? This perfectly ordinary local man certainly hadn't known of this statistic when he called it off with his longtime partner because he didn't like the sound of her breathing, and also because the already cacophonous exhalations jarred painfully with the thunderous clacking of her footsteps. The fan had been off, of course. The other curious thing about this fan business is that you'll soon realize that the amount of time, effort and moral outrage expended on getting the bane of alcohol out of society is utterly misguided when you realize that the absence of a blast of air in your face has just as much - and credible sources have it that it is sometimes a lot more - effect on your impulse control. In a controlled laboratory experiment, it was observed that sweaty rats in a tropical cage tended to sort of give up and eat the first thing that was offered to them - typically poison flavoured newspaper - even if they knew that they'd only have to endure fanlessness for only a couple of moments before they'd be rewarded with sweet, sweet cheese. Their cool brethren waited patiently for the cheese of course. The moral of that laboratory experiment is about as subtle as being slapped on your head, so there you go. Applications are endless. Would you still be estranged with your step dad if there'd been a cool wind on your face when he called you fat as a kid? Would you have quit your job in a huff if your boss had insulted your grammar skillz in an air conditioned conference room, rather than in a sultry outdoors team outing? Science has the answer, kids, and the answer is that all you have to do in life is keep your cool. Literally.
Yes, this is a humble table fan, and there's no subtext here. There is however a familiar anecdote. You’ve spent much of your day working up the courage to ask this amazing, perfect person out. The two of you are to meet for homework, but there’s a power cut. It gets super hot. It gets so hot that you can feel your own irritation swell like a tidal wave, and when this person runs a couple of minutes late, it bursts forth and swamps your senses in a red mist.
Instead of the romantic proposal, you end up making a sarcastic jibe about watches being in short supply around the city, and end up dying lonely and hopeless, never meeting another such perfect person again. Dramatic? No, sir! Well, maybe if you are a sort of Antarctic ice block that finds the act of a promising life ending up as a wet, smelly sock mundane. Did you know that rates of divorce shoot up twenty percent in the summertime, and forty percent if there are power cuts? This perfectly ordinary local man certainly hadn't known of this statistic when he called it off with his longtime partner because he didn't like the sound of her breathing, and also because the already cacophonous exhalations jarred painfully with the thunderous clacking of her footsteps. The fan had been off, of course. The other curious thing about this fan business is that you'll soon realize that the amount of time, effort and moral outrage expended on getting the bane of alcohol out of society is utterly misguided when you realize that the absence of a blast of air in your face has just as much - and credible sources have it that it is sometimes a lot more - effect on your impulse control. In a controlled laboratory experiment, it was observed that sweaty rats in a tropical cage tended to sort of give up and eat the first thing that was offered to them - typically poison flavoured newspaper - even if they knew that they'd only have to endure fanlessness for only a couple of moments before they'd be rewarded with sweet, sweet cheese. Their cool brethren waited patiently for the cheese of course. The moral of that laboratory experiment is about as subtle as being slapped on your head, so there you go. Applications are endless. Would you still be estranged with your step dad if there'd been a cool wind on your face when he called you fat as a kid? Would you have quit your job in a huff if your boss had insulted your grammar skillz in an air conditioned conference room, rather than in a sultry outdoors team outing? Science has the answer, kids, and the answer is that all you have to do in life is keep your cool. Literally.
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